1+1+1 (squared)

They say that the hardest transition in parenting is not from 0 to 1, or from 1 to 2, but from 2 to 3. I’ve always thought people were being melodramatic about it. It’s irrational, and I can’t abide irrational things.

I’m in the middle of parenting three little ones now, so I can’t be objective…but I will say that the increase in work does seem all out of proportion to the addition of one tiny little baby. I was cleaning dishes for three, and now it’s four, or laundry for four, and now it’s five. That’s addition. So why, I ask myself at least ten times a day, does the work seem to increase by exponents?

Well, I figured it out. Brace yourself—this is really profound stuff. 🙂 Yes—I have solved the mystery! Two examples will suffice.

1. Laundry. Under other circumstances, Mommy and Daddy’s clothes might last two wearings (or at least a full day). Now, however, Baby spit up on the first, Toddler bled on the second, and Preschooler sobbed on the third, rubbing his runny nose all over it. So now instead of one outfit every other day, the laundry increases by three in one day.
2. Dishes. #2 child grabbed your fork and threw it on the floor while you were trying to keep #3 child from knocking your plate on the floor, but then the falling fork distracted you, and #3 took advantage of the opportunity to smack the bowl off the table, too, thus requiring a second set of tableware. (And a mop job.)

No doubt every other parent in the universe figured this out eons ago, but I’m a slow learner. Now that I’ve mastered that puzzle, it’s on to the next great mystery of the universe: what makes little boys tick? Stay tuned!